How to Deal with Regret

Regret is something that plagues nearly everyone of us at some point in our life, especially as we get older. It manifests itself to us in thoughts about things we wish we had not done in our past, things we would do differently if we just had the chance to do it over.

Exercise in Futility

Unfortunately, the things we did in our previous years are done and gone. They exist in a time that we cannot return to, a time that exists only in our memory. And so, to agonize over these things now, in the present, is an exercise in futility. It is pointless and unproductive. It is hard labor that yields no positive fruit.

In this passage in Philippians chapter 3, the Apostle Paul talks about forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before us. That’s a noble thought, but it’s often difficult, especially as we get older, to forget the things that are behind us. Unfortunately, when we look backwards, we almost always find defeat.

Chief of Sinners

Do you suppose that Paul had any regrets? Of course, he did. He had persecuted the early church of Jesus Christ that had arisen after Christ’s resurrection. His mandate from the Sanhedron, the religious establishment of the day, had been to go from house to house, looking for followers of Christ, imprisoning them and even putting some of them to death. He was present at the stoning of Stephen, the first recorded martyr of the church.

The Grace of our Lord

Paul’s view of himself was set in his mind by the things he had done in those early days of his life, something he discussed from time to time. We see it in his letter to Timothy.

Paul describes himself here in this letter to Timothy as one was in times past a blasphemer, and a persecutor, and injurious, things that one might certainly regret in later years. And he says that Christ came to save sinners, of whom he, Paul, was the chief. His recollection of himself in his early life was as the worst of sinners.

Thorn in the Flesh

Satan is the author of regret, which is made evident by its power to torment us. The Bible refers to Satan as the accuser of the brethren, which he does day and night. Paul himself was made to suffer through regret over the early years of his life. And after being saved, he received great revelation of the kingdom of God, by which the Lord exalted him to great success in his ministry.

Some suggest that Paul was referring to an illness, a physical infirmity, but in his own words he calls it a "messenger of Satan sent to buffet me." To buffet means to strike with the fist repeatedly. He is describing something that strikes a person over and over, like the repeated strikes of regret that come against the heart.

It's quite feasible that he was carrying the oppressive weight of regret for what he had done in persecuting the church during the earlier part of his life, an oppression that was hard to escape and impossible to deny. His mind must have wondered how it could be possible for him to serve as a minister of Christ with that kind of background?

My Grace is Sufficient

And it says that he sought the Lord about it several times that this thing would depart from him. And the Lord ultimately spoke to him, and gave him a revelation that would help him in his struggles.

Yes, Paul was weak, in that he had done some bad things in his younger years, wicked things against the church, and yet by God’s grace he had become a minister of Christ, a status and position he would have certainly felt unworthy of.

The Lord told him, My grace is enough to cover it, for My strength is made complete in your inability and unworthiness. God does not choose worthy people, the noble ones, the great ones of this world. He chooses unworthy and imperfect people, and by His mercy He accepts them, and prepares them, and He exalts them to high positions in Himself. Jesus said, And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted. (Matthew 23:12)

A Humble and Contrite Heart

Paul was a man of a humble and contrite spirit, yet the devil was using it to beat him up over his old life. And by divine revelation he realized that God’s grace, His graciousness and kindness, His mercy, had made that unsavory part of his life ineffective by His grace.

As Far as the East is from the West

It says that our sins have been removed from us, as far away as the east is from the west. And another verse promises that God will remember our sins no more. The Lord does not even remember those old sins. If God doesn’t remember them, then why do we bring them up and allow them to torment us?

Casting Your Cares Upon Him

Where regret is concerned, there is usually a sense of guilt, a sense of lingering guilt that we must eject from us by force, based on the promises of God.

Humble Yourselves

This passage tells us to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God. It is human nature to want to be in control. But some things, like the worries and the regrets we may have, are beyond our control. We certainly have no power to change the things of the past. It takes humility to acknowledge that we are not in control. But God has a solution.

Peter says to cast your care upon the Lord, for He cares for you. Regret is a form of care or worry. It is something that torments our mind over things that took place in the past, while worry and anxiety are things that trouble us about our present circumstances.

Some might say, well, you can’t help but worry. And if that’s the truth, then it would follow that you cannot help but have regrets. Both statements are incorrect, at least according to the word of God.

Is it possible to cast our worries and concerns upon the Lord? Yes. If that were not true, then the Bible would not have told us to do so. And if we can cast our cares and worries upon the Lord, then we can also cast our regrets upon Him.

Be Careful for Nothing

Can we trade our worries, our sorrows, our concerns, and our regrets for the peace of God that goes beyond human understanding? Yes, the Bible says we can. But it involves humbling ourselves and going to the Lord in prayer and taking those things to Him. And it involves leaving them there with Him.

The Prayer of Faith

An example of this kind of prayer would be something like this:

The Weapons of Our Warfare

Regret is from the enemy. It is something the devil uses in his attempt to defeat us and keep us in a place where we are no threat to him. As long as we’re defeated there is little risk that we will cause him any problems. But we have spiritual weapons that will deal with him, spiritual weapons designed for a spiritual enemy.

Casting Down Imaginations

The Lord has given us the power to cast down imaginations, thoughts, speculations, rationalizations, and every thought that exalts itself against what the word of God promises us. If we did not have that ability through Him, then He could not tell us to cast down imaginations and bring thoughts into captivity. It would be impossible to do.

Regrets are thoughts that present themselves as being bigger than the forgiveness of God. They exalt themselves against the knowledge of God, the knowledge of the truth. They are therefore, in reality, lies. And even though they are based on something that may have actually happened, they are irrelevant accusations, because they are counteracted by God’s willingness to forgive.

How to Use the Sword of the Spirit in Battle

One of the most powerful weapons of our warfare is the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. It is a great offensive weapon to use against the enemy. When regrets try to enter our thoughts, we can say out loud, The word of God says that the Lord has forgiven me of my sins.Therefore I confess that I am forgiven, I am clean, and I am free.Therefore I refuse to think about the things of my past.

Let the Peace of God Rule in Your Heart

There is much more that could be said about dealing with guilt and regret. But the things that have been presented in this message are more than enough to eradicate fear, worry, guilt and regret from our life. Take the time to use these weapons God has given us.